Not my favorite part... but somebody has to do it!

There comes a time in all of our lives when we've become familiar with using negative emotional patterns to get through life. Most of the time this happens subconsciously through neuro-associative conditioning, and it's rare when I'll work with a client who can truly pinpoint where it was that the conditioning took place. And usually, it's more than one event anyways. There's the trigger event and then multiple subsequent events that took place to reinforce those negative patterns.

And it is usually these negative patterns that lead us away from setting potent goals and bring us down into our worst emotional cycles of depression, anger and disappointment. Once you've achieved that state in your life, where every action seems pointless because no matter what you do, you find yourself confronted with more and more PAIN, it becomes increasingly difficult to see that a life full of PLEASURE is only a simple change away. It becomes excessively unclear that you have everything inside you that you need to change your own condition and thus, the condition of your current circumstances.

I've been there as well, and I understand exactly what happens, not just from a coaches point of view, but from personal experience. Though my personal experiences will not ever be as challenging as my experiences in coaching those whom have found themselves repeating those negative cycles.

It's more challenge mostly because I don't like to see those I care about suffer. That's why I became a coach, to help people alleviate their pain and suffering as much as they will allow themselves to do so. It sucks to watch someone spiral down and down and to realize that as their friend and coach, there is only one thing left to do - AGREE WITH THEM.

Yes life does suck. Sometimes it's icky, sticky and painful. Other times it's disappointing, confusing and horrific. We don't have control over what anyone else does, thinks or feels and because we can only control ourselves, that sometimes leads to unintended circumstances that can throw us off balance.

I tell you what though, thinking about life in that way has never done anyone any good, and it can be proven that thinking about life that way actually brings about even more negative conditions in your life. Though for some people, the only way out of that pattern, is to go even deeper into it. So deep that they are forced to realize that whether they give up or push forward, they are responsible for everything that happens and if they don't want to experience even worse pain, they are going to have to give up the game and accept that responsibility.

I don't like being the friend, family member or coach that has to sometimes say to the people she cares about, "Everything WILL get worse, IF YOU STAY IN THAT NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL PATTERN." That being said, I LOVE being the person who then gets to see my friends, family and clients transform out of their negative patterns and into the stronger, truer and more authentic human beings that I already knew they were, even before they ever believed it. =)