This common question is one of my favorite philosophical ponderings. I really don't feel that the question can be fully answered, though throughout time our kind has managed to gather and in depth perspective that comes pretty close an answer. Though truthfully, I feel its the inability to truly define the answer that makes it such a great question - its value is not in the final answer itself, its in the evolution of the answer over time, by each philosopher who deems themselves courageous enough to add their own essence for the next philomath to consider...
And now its my turn, to leave my insight for you, the next philosopher, to stop and ponder. Will you leave my words as they are, quoting them to others... or will you add your own essence to mine before you leave?
Either way, here is what you really came to read - The Difference Between Successful and Unsuccessful People.
The most fascinating conclusion that I have come across, is that successful and unsuccessful people use the very SAME process to achieve their results. They both pick something to focus on, and then they analyze and visualize and continuing focusing on that "something" until they have in their lives, exactly what they've been thinking about, though not always in the form that they originally pictured their thoughts might manifest.
Now, this isn't a conclusion I came to on my own. There are extensive scholars, philosophers and polymaths whom have already done the work to deduce that answer before me. Tony Robbin's, one of my favorites, has really brought it down to a distinct level:
And that's the REAL truth, straight from this horses mouth: The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is ONLY in the RESULTS they get from the process."There is NO failure. There are ONLY results."
In my mind, the answer can get no clearer than that. The results a successful person gets are obviously SUCCESS - they find fulfillment where ever they go and they are grateful for every opportunity they root out of what seemed like a simple hole in the ground. They find everything that is going right in their lives, and they concentrate on how they manifested those things into their lives, so they can do it MORE.
The results an unsuccessful person gets, clearly, are the same but in reverse. An unsuccessful person, even despite any attempts to find gratitude or fulfillment, looks around and see's everything they don't have and/or still want. They find all the things in their lives that are not working out the way they envisioned they would, and they sit around thinking about how they did it and how they don't want to do that anymore.
Did you notice the subtle differences in the last sentence of each of those paragraphs? I feel it's important to point it out, because this is one of the most common challenges I've come across when helping my clients to cultivate successful lives - when you focus only on what you're doing wrong, what isn't working out or how your life does not fit your inner blueprint, you're only going to get MORE OF THAT. More of that negativity, more of the things you DONT want. More of the sadness, the disappointment, the angst, the financial crisis... More Failure.
Changing from an unsuccessful person to a successful person can literally take less than an hour to do. You don't have to believe me, but it has been proven time and time again. Granted, everyone is different - some will learn from this simple blog post of mine, and others will need to have the process reinforced in their neuro-associative structure, but ANYONE can be transformed from "average" to EXTRAORDINARY in less than an hour, by simply changing their STRATEGY.
The process stays the same - which is how I can guarantee that if you are currently unsuccessful - whether it be from severe depression, a lack of resources or even a traumatic past - if you are unsuccessful and unfulfilled in your life right now - then you have EVERYTHING WITHIN IN YOU THAT YOU NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
If you're currently unsuccessful - then you're ALREADY using the same process that successful people use to achieve so much while it seems like you're not achieving anything. You already have the amazing ability to focus, make predictions about potential outcomes and more importantly, you are ALREADY getting RESULTS. They just aren't the results you wanted, am I wrong?
So if you're only challenge is simply getting different results that fit you're blueprint of successful, then the steps are simply - CHANGE YOUR STRATEGY.
Let me see if I can help give you a visual through two examples:
EXAMPLE 1: Beating The Odds
I have a friend who is an absolutely amazing person. When I met her, she was living in an RV with her two kids. She was working two jobs, while also making sure her kids made it to school everyday. They were just barely getting by, going days without food and sometimes without gas. DSHS would offer no help, and the kids dad's were no where to be found (which meant no child support). Though somehow my friend always managed to get to work everyday and to get her kids safely to and from school. It was like clockwork, something crazy and bad would always seem to happen last minute, but no matter what, she was always able to do those things.
Then one day, a few years ago, something changed inside her on a very deep level. My friend had been out of work for a while due to cut backs and dealing with severe medical conditions at the same time, and it seemed that her situation was about to get much much worse. I'm not sure exactly when or why it happened, but one day (when something changed) she rustled up some old poetry. The poems she had written, encased her emotional and spiritual world over the past 5 years she had been living in that RV. Though instead of writing another poem and putting them all away again, she decided she was going to create a book that would encase most of her entire collection of poetry. And because she went as far as to visualize putting the poems into a book, she was able to see it going farther and she turned the book into a Kindle eBook. From there, she started spreading the word through her friends and social networks - and people bought and read that book. Through that book, the conversation really got started about our social "safety net" that does nothing to protect people in my friends situation. That wasn't the only beneficial thing that happened either. I noticed a large difference in the way that my friend was talking and interacting with people. You could tell that it was more than just a subtle change in even that short amount of time.
And even though the book didn't top the best sellers list, it still became her own Best Seller. And through the power of her decision to publish and promote her own situation, to be vulnerable and talk about it, she became EMPOWERED. And now, through her continued concentration on what was working and persistent effort to take advantage of opportunities laid before her, not only does she have a stable dwelling for her and her two kids that isn't on 4 wheels, but she also has a job that enables her to get out into the world and help others who are in the situation she just evolved out of, and often times in worse situations.
And every time I get a chance to chat with my friend (she's rather busy these days!), she is continually campaigning, assisting and empowering people everywhere she goes and it is just BEAUTIFUL. And the most amazing part out of all of it, for me at least, is knowing what a change she went through. From a panicking homeless mother of two who didn't know what she was going to do, to a powerful thought leader, activist and consistently compassionate woman who can care for herself, her family and still give her whole heart to a world of people that most of the world pays no attention to.
My friend's name is Carey Fuller, and I hope she doesn't mind the shout out. I'm so proud of everything she has done and continues to do for herself and those who need her, and I know one of the best ways I can help is to share her story and ask you to help in any way you can. Carey never ceases to amaze me in her creativity and persistence to succeed against all odds. Please check out her blog, where amongst other things, she is campaigning to buy and create a Resource Center and to save a family that recently lost their infant son due to a lack of social resources in the city they live in. She has created a beautiful Ribbon with a Baby Feet Charm, in an effort to help the family get back on their feet - check out the post Billy's Campaign and don't forget to get her book Writing's From the Driver's Side.
EXAMPLE 2: Falling Apart
I have another friend, who also found himself in a dire situation. Though in this example, I had met him before his situation had become so dire. When I met him, he was living in a house he rented. He lived alone except for his canine companion. At the time, both of them were suffering from various joint and bone inflammation, and although my friend had managed to get assistance from welfare for medical bills, he refused to go to his regular appointments, continually telling me how much he hated going, because even though the long term results were positive, they were very painful physical therapy appointments. Having gone through physical therapy for previous injuries himself, I didn't blame him, though I still encouraged him to go and see his PT and not to give up on his body so quickly. Yet, no matter how much encouragement he got from me and others in our social circle, he only seemed to get worse and worse. The more he refused to go to his PT appoints, the less often he went to the rest of his appointments - because those doctors scolded him for missing the PT appointments - and the less he was able to get around the house. Of course, my friend blamed his failing condition on the quality of care he'd been receiving for years, and refused to allow anyone to suggest his condition was getting worse because of his own neglect, and not the quality of care he'd been receiving.
Miraculously, everything that he had going for himself began to fall away. Because he had pretty much stopped going in for any medical treatment, he also stopped going to his welfare appointments, now citing that they were just crooks anyways, and soon after he lost his medical coupons and any more access to the doctors he'd been seeing. His physical and emotional condition continued to get worse until he was barely ambulating around his own home, meaning he even stopped walking or driving to the store as often. Then he lost his cash assistance from welfare, soon followed with a vacate notice from his landlord, whom he'd been ignoring calls and visits from, who was tired of waiting for the rent to be paid.
It was shortly after this that I had to severe communication with this former friend of mine, I'm sad to say, as continued conversations always went round in circles. He would always find a way to keep his internet bill paid and it became his daily ritual to go through me and my circle of friends, telling us how crappy and cursed his life had always been and how much worse it was going to get for him. And even though every one of us tried to offer him sympathy, empathy, objectivity and support - none of it went anywhere. It didn't matter if you agreed with him or encouraged him to care for himself, he was to focused on all the negative, that most everyone wanted to avoid talking to him anymore. It wasn't that he was a bad person, or that anyone stopped wanting to help, but he was finding a way to gather pleasure through his pain and amplify it. It wasn't easy to watch.
The last time I had heard from that friend, he had given his sweet old canine companion to a shelter, sold just about all his possessions and moved south to take up a room for rent with some stranger he had talked to from craigslist.
Now, I haven't heard from that friend since he last came on to say fairwell to his online friends. And though I hope that he has found better days for himself, I can tell you that what brought him to the point of being in that position at all, is a prime example of the PROCESS that both successful and unsuccessful people use to get to where they are and to get to where they are going to be.
Both he and Carey used the SAME process to get into or out of their various situations. The difference is that when things got worse, Carey used her pain to motivated her towards less pain and more pleasure - she used her emotional power to elevate herself towards a future that contained the resources she needed to care for herself, her family and her community. She got RESULTS.
When things got worse for my other friend, he focused intensely on just how wrong his life was and used the pain to create more pain. Every day he retold his story to myself and others about how he couldn't hold onto any girlfriends he'd managed to attract. his friends kept leaving him, his doctors kept yelling at him and his body was refusing to function properly. To make matters more morose, he continually visualized about how his body was just going to freeze up and how no one would be there to care. He told us of how he needed more more, more love, more friends, more time, more food, more people to care. Yet none of those "wants" brought him any gains, and all of his focus brought him RESULTS.
These same results can be found through out our historic past and they are wrapped up all over our present. I'm sure you already know of people whom have managed to get negative results in their lives, and if you are one of them or you know someone who is and you'd like to help - study the people whom have used the same process with their own Success Strategies. Some great examples to get you started:
- Thomas Edison
- Benjamin Franklin
- Hellen Keller
- Henry Ford
- Albert Einstein
- Lucille Ball
- Warren Buffet
- John Grinder
- Roseanne Barr
- Anthony Robbin's
- Michael Jordan
- Bill Gates
- J.K. Rowling
- Ron Paul
- Mark Zuckerburg
- Attila the Hun
- Julius Ceasar
- Henry VIII
- Alexander Hamilton
- Adolf Hitler
- Josef Stalin
- Nathan Rothschild
- Nelson W. Aldrich
- Richard Nixon
- David Rockerfellar (Sr. and Jr.)
- Tony Blair
- Thomas E. Donilon
- Dick Chaney
- John McCain
- Ben Bernanke
- Edgar Monsanto Queeny
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